Friend – noun

One who is attached to another by affection; one who entertains for another sentiments of esteem, respect and affection, which lead him to desire his company, and to seek to promote his happiness and prosperity; opposed to foe or enemy.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary

I have been astounded over the last few years. All because of this simple, overused, little understood word.

As a child, I never had good friends nor many of even the bad friends. Most kids didn’t know I existed. I was lucky if I had one friend to take me through the school year. Usually, I had to follow a group around until they let me in. Sounds pathetic. It was. And it never worked well. After a couple of years, I stopped chasing people.

My first real friend came in high school. We still see each other once in a great while. It’s always good when we do. When I see any of my friends in high school, it is always good. Many of them have remained close through the years. And even if it has been a while between times, we still seem close.

Recently, my brother-in-law turned 50. His wife surprised him with many of our friends from high school. We reminisced. We laughed. Oh, did we laugh. We spoke of marriage, kids, sneaking into the hotel pools, and relished the glow of friendships that have lasted decades.

He was always a ring leader and bad influence. Father now to five beautiful children and husband to one amazing woman. He was (and still is) intelligent and very tall. He moved away during high school, but never lost touch with us. When he visits with his wife and daughter, I make sure we get a chance to see them because they are interesting. Through the years, he became close like a brother. Since I never had a brother, this was neat. And my own children call him uncle.

It was in college that I found my soul sisters. None of them live near me now, but all of them are dear to me. I try to see or talk with them at least once a year. They helped me through some dark times. They were my light. My red-head friend has my picture on her fridge and her friends think we are related. She doesn’t let them believe otherwise. My west coast friend is too far away physically, but near my heart always. And we can make an hour fly by on the phone. Then there’s my physics buddy. My year gets off to the best start when our families spend the day together playing in the snow or eating homemade fire-roasted pizza or over tea and lots and lots of talking. I always feel lighter, richer after spending time with her and her family.

Through the years, friends would flit into and out of my life. Some quite literally. She was already sick when I met her. Our friendship lasted only months, but her children have remained close to mine for over a decade now. Now their step mom is my dear friend. I am grateful for her love for them and her love for me. Another is my best friend, if an adult can say such things. She and I are close like nothing else. She moved away but is only a text away and I think it is time for a phone call.

I have this special friend that I don’t want any one to know about because she is just so cool and fun and nothing like me. I love her daughters and her honest attitude. There is one friend I gained because of my youngest. He found a best bud and I found a mom who is simply a wonder. She is smart and kind and loves life and is moving away. I found one unexpected friend in all sense of the word. Her family just happen to move here, we happen to attend a meeting, and she and I happen to simply enjoy each other’s company. Then she moved away. Not too far away and I already am planning my trip to see her.

And when I start counting, there are more. Many of those who call me friend (and I certainly call my friend) surprise me mainly because I don’t think I am worth this many friends or worth their love. For instance, she is gorgeous inside and out and, for whatever reason, she smiles at me and hugs me. And I wonder what it is she must see.

All I see is a mess of me.

And perhaps that is the reason we have friends. They see what we can’t and we are drawn to that. They hold affection and esteem and respect for us. Our friends desire to spend time simply promoting our happiness and prosperity.

I am awed by this. And humbled.

This past year has been an interesting one with friends. Some have moved away and my heart is sad. Some came for unexpected visits and made my heart soar. Some new ones entered my life and my heart is blessed. But one thing is true:

My friends enrich my life. And I am grateful.