My dad called me last Friday. There was something in his voice, a change, a sadness, a loss. He asked a question and talked of other things I honestly don’t remember. I am sure they were important.

Then he took a breath.

“Do you remember F– and K— A—?”

“Of course.”

“They were killed this morning in a car accident on the way to the gym.”

Yeah, I felt his hurting heart in the wild waves wondering from his house and his iPhone to my house and my iPhone. I know that change, that sadness, that loss. I know the hurt after the death of friends. Saying goodbye whether we were close for 6 months or 60 years stings.

And I wonder, does God feel that in our voice when prayers fall before words are formed?

So, everything stops. Mom calls asking if my boys can take care of the dogs while they go up North to grieve and remember and celebrate with others who walk and cry, changed, sad, lost. Of course, the boys will. Anything to help ease pain my parents feel.  

And I wonder, does God walk these roads with us as we travel in the darkness?

The time will come, the space is made for the final goodbye as friends and family gather to share this change, this sadness, this loss. My dad along with other men will carry the burden of their friends to their final resting place. They carry out of respect for this life they lived, out of desire to hold their friendship one more time, out of hope to make sense of this journey.

And I wonder, does God carry our burdens when we can’t lift eyes?

My heart breaks for my dad, for this family who lost so much so quickly. The gift of a friend is precious. In their absence we are changed because of the layers they added to our life are gone. In their absence we are sad because the relationship is over. In their absence we feel the loss of them. Every person leaves a unique imprint on our heart.

And I wonder, does God see the pain we can’t express?

Yes.

Of course.

God moves time and space to reach the hurting, to heal the broken, to hold the lamenting. Because God changes our heart, replaces our sadness for joy, and claims the lost as found.

God feels our hurt and that moves His heart. God walks our dark roads when all others abandon. God carries our burdens with a strength we can only imagine.

God knows our pain as if it was His own.

So. Yes. God does.

My dad will grieve today and tomorrow with friends. They will share stories and laugh. They will cry. And every now and again till they lay down, memories will fly into and out of their thoughts.

And God is there with my dad and my mom and all the friends celebrating these lives lost too soon.

F— and K— A—- will grieve today and tomorrow with their God. They will share stories and laugh. They will cry and He will wipe away the tears. And every now and again, memories will fly into and out of their thoughts.

And God is there with us.