How’s your week been?

Mine, difficult. And I learned too much coffee is a thing. Being home doesn’t necessarily mean connecting with everyone. Working from home on Zoom does require a clean shirt and brushed hair. Being home doesn’t mean the house is cleaned. In fact, being home with kids and husband and dogs and chickens and ducks, the house isn’t clean. It’s lived in. And most importantly, all the meals need to be decided on, prepared, and cleaned up after. ALL.THE.MEALS.

And this isn’t how we do life.

I homeschool, but not like this.

I work, but not like this.

I exercise, but not like this.

I cook, but not like this.

I live, but not like this.

This is unusual for me.

This is unusual for everyone.

And this week has been unusually challenging. I can take some comfort in the fact that this forced staying home is temporary.

But this has changed me.

Changed from freely traveling where and when I please to being home.

Changed from seeing family and friends at any time, any place to being on Zoom, Marco Polo, Facetime at home.

Changed from meeting people at restaurants for long talks or for drinks and laughs to being home. Cheers.

Changed from hurried days with appointments and shopping and lessons and meetings to being home.

Well, that last one probably needed to go. Life moves fast enough. My days would begin rushing out of bed and through a shower. Waking kids, eating, gathering all the things to take. Whisking child and challenge out the door. Return exhausted, fall asleep, and do it again.

Now my days begin with coffee and long talks with my dear man while those wild boys sleep. I love this. I never want this to end. I could begin all my days talking and listening to him. For hours. The still, dark of the morning is so sacred. To fill that time, that space with the most sacred earthly relationship I have is sublime. I look forward to it every morning.

Then the day loses form and function. I don’t know why. I am home. I love creating scheduales and lists. And, apparently, I love watching them burn to nothing and time fly away with the memories. Memories that could fill my children with fuel to let them fly.

I am squandering that.

But then again, I need to remind myself that this is not normal.

We’ve had to remake or remove plans, rethink how we meet up with friends and family, reorder our day and reorganize our life now that everyone is working and educating at home, and reframe our reality.

And He reminds me that this – my treasure, my time, and my talent – is for my good and His glory. He reminds me that a man found contentment in the strangest of places; a painful prison, a shattered ship, a lonely land. He held some secret. A secret that let him find strength whatever the situation he was in; scarcity, sufficiency, prosperous, poor, free, fettered. He found strength. Outside himself. In Him.

And I am reminded that that strength is still there even for someone like me.

I needed that reminder. When I fill my time, talent, and treasure with the creation, I lose the Creator of life, love, and laughter. The source of strength, the source of hope, the source of freedom is not found in the things the world offer. It’s only found in Christ.

Every morning, mercies are new. I experience that.

Every day, forgiveness is extended. We experience that.

Every moment, grace abounds. I forget that.

I forget Grace for them, my men living life in between walls and woods and with me. I forget Grace for me, for falling to feebleness and fumbleness. I forget Grace that entered a Sacred and Terrifying Sanctuary through the Sacrifice of body and blood for my body, mind, soul; my time, talent, treasure. I forget the Grace that reached through time and space to save me.

So, I am reminded. And a new week begins. I will work on connecting with everyone. I will look nice for Zoom meetings. I will clean. Well, maybe not perfectly. I will work with joy on meal preparation.

And I will do life like this. In Grace and His strength.

I will homeschool in Grace and His strength.

I will work in Grace and His strength.

I will exercise in Grace and His strength.

I will cook in Grace and His strength.

And it will be good for me.

And it will be good for everyone.

Because it is all for His Glory.

And I am changed.