There is no doubt that Christmas has become materialistic. What a person got is more important than what a person gave. Sales and stores attest to the gift buying and gift receiving nature of this holy of holidays. And presents decorate the homes of millions in anticipation of the awaited day when all will be revealed.

Hope fills the soul in anticipation of that one desired gift.

This year was a strange year in many respects. Fear of pandemics. Frustration in politics. Fury over power injustice. My sweet man and I decided that we needed to reflect love and light in our gift giving this year.

We came up with a radical idea. A radically crazy idea. An idea that our children might not like or even want to try. When we drew names for the person we were to buy for, rather than buying a gift for our family member, we would donate to a charity in their name.

Our family is diverse in thought and beliefs, character and partialities. As parents, we desire nothing more than harmony even in disagreements. What each person would choose to support might not be what another person would agree with. Thus, some ground rules needed to be established.

The rules were simple:

• This is not a joke.
• You cannot donate to something the other person would find abhorrent.
• You do not need to donate to something you disagree with.
• Find a charity that both of you would like and can agree with.

On Christmas day, we would reveal the charity and why we chose that charity for that person. It was important that we described the process of choosing that charity for the person. That was the gift.

And because two of my kids have love languages that include “gifts,” we included the option to buy a small gift. $50 was to go to the charity and up to $25 for the gift.

As Christmas day drew near, we were anticipating what charity was chosen in our name and why. We were awaiting the reveal of gift given in our name to some organization we didn’t know.

For my sweet man and I, our souls hoped for reconciliation and family felicity in the gift revealed.

The day came and hope revealed.

Our youngest child, when he was three years old, wished to be a Polar Bear when he grew up. He never gave up on liking and admiring Polar Bears. The charity chosen for him was the Great Bear Foundation. They work on conservation for the great bears and their habitat.

This charity worked for both giver and gifted for love the planet and the great bears living on it.

Our middle son received the gift of helping orphans in Russia find a home. This particular child has been interested in learning the Russian language and enjoys YouTube videos from an Eastern European on cooking, calisthenics, and commentary.

This charity worked for both giver and gifted for the love of people and cultures.

Our oldest son enjoys music. He writes his own songs and has produced albums. Because of his dad, he has learned and been comfortable with guitars from a very young age. The charity chosen for him was Daniel’s Music Foundation. Their mission is to give people of all abilities a safe place to participate in the joy of music.

This charity worked for both giver and gifted for the love of music and the desire to help those who may struggle in life.

Our only daughter works with autistic children. She recently found her dream job where she works one on one with autistic children helping them learn skills and navigate life. She has a large heart and is good at reading what the child needs. The charity chosen for her was the Autism Science Foundation, whose mission is to support autism research.

This charity worked for both the giver and gifted for the love of people and the desire to help understand the unknown.

Our newest son (married our only daughter) works in the STEM field. He has a heart for opening this field to young girls. And he loves his Seattle-town where he lives with his bride. The charity chosen for him was SPIN that works in Seattle to bring STEM to girls and minorities.

This charity worked for both the giver and gifted for the love of learning and the desire to show the STEM field to all who are interested.

My desire is to help people love life, love living, love the crazy that comes with breath and moments. The charity chosen for me was Care Net; a charity whose focus is on helping women through unplanned pregnancy and beyond. This gift came from my unexpected, unplanned pregnancy which made it all the more important.

This charity worked for both the giver and gifted for the love of life.

My sweet man loves his motorcycles. Riding and collecting them. The charity chosen for him was Bikers Against Child Abuse. He will learn more about this charity and found that there is a chapter in our enchanted state. Their mission is to provide a safe environment for abused children.

This charity worked for both the giver and gifted for the desire of caring for the least of these and protecting the vulnerable.

What began as an idea, became an interesting lesson. Everyone researched a charity for the person they were to buy a gift for. They researched with that person in mind – their desires, their unique outlook on life, their values. And we all found charities that supported them as well as our own desires, outlook, and values.

It was a crazy, wild success. Seven organizations learned about this crazy, wild family who decided to do a strange thing. The organizations that inquired why we chose them loved what we did and were honored that they were chosen.

This was a gift that blessed the giver, the gifted, and the organizations we gave to.

Our Christmas was a little less materialistic. We still had some gifts and stockings. Yet, what we gave was more important that what we got. The time we spent telling each other why we chose that charity for that person testified to our care and concern for each other.

Our gift giving truly made the holiday holy.

We may not do this again. Or we may. But my hope in sharing this experiment with you is that perhaps you find a way to hold holy gift giving.