Walk with me, if you will, on this narrow path. It’s full of rocks and branches that reach out to stumble weary feet. The turns are sharp, unexpected.

God loves in the midst of suffering and pain and yet allows suffering and pain. Yet he remains holy and just.

We live in this broken world seeking for glimpses of God’s love, of Adonai’s tears. We are the walking wounded from generations of trauma seeking refuge in love, hope, and peace.

He was a young captain in charge of younger men. Their mission, dangerous. To storm a beach and face a deadly enemy. Both sides were fierce and brave. They trained on the beaches of Hawaii. Training in a paradise knowing that paradise was where they were going. The captain knew the purpose, the end of the mission. He knew these 18, 19, 20 year old boys would never call their mom, never marry, never grow old. He wrote a last letter to his own pregnant wife, sealed it and held it until the day came to send it. He carried this knowledge and bore the burden with the courage of a warrior and the heart of a lover. His thoughts frequently went to his beautiful, red-headed wife. But war demanded his attention, his leadership, his body. He knew that the beach would be the graveside for him and his men and those of his enemies. So, he trained his men to face fear and welcome the unknown.

In a building fortified and secure far away from blood and gore and hearts torn, a decision was made. Atoms crushed, light flashed, and two cities burned beneath a mushroom cloud.

The captain and his men went home while so many died in theirs. And a good God loved the men who were spared. And loved the ones who made a decision. Yet, he also loved those who died. Adonai’s tears exposed the reality of war.

A young 17 year old high school graduate with her cousin and two friends decided to go to a movie on a Friday night. They drove home through a mountain pass discussing the movie and their futures. Until their car had a blow-out and left them on the side of the road near the precipice. The cousin tried to replace the tire with the spare. The young graduate leaned against the car continuing their conversation while he laboured. The friends walked a little way down the road. It was near midnight.

A middle-aged man spent his evening in a bar drinking his anger, his fear, his life adrift, himself into a stupor. And picked up keys. His car veered as if driving itself, but somehow found the mountain pass road. Speeding and slowing, swerving and switching, he drove drunk.

The car turned with the winding road and hit the car with no tire throwing the graduate into the unknown. The graduate and her cousin died immediately. The man went to jail. And a good God loved those teenagers and the friends who survived. And he loved the one who took their lives. Adonai’s tears exposed the reality of selfishness.

He just started his new job, after months of training yet still under supervision. They got a call to quietly respond to a potentially dangerous domestic situation. He drove his patrol car with four other officers to the area. They saw a man leading his girlfriend away from houses and toward a river. The boyfriend held a gun in his clothing. They called to the man to walk towards them, hoping for a peaceful resolution.

About halfway, the man turned leveling his gun and let off a shot. In that moment, the new patrolman slowed his breath, let off his safety, and thought of his wife and young daughter. He and the others raced to let their bullets fly before his reached them. The boyfriend laid down with his last breath. A hole in the windshield of a patrol car just past the new officer opened his eyes to the reality of this job he loves. He let out a breath of thankfulness to the God who gives grace as the reality of death slowly crept over him. And a good God loves the officers. And he loves the girlfriend. And he loved the one who lay still on the ground. Adonai’s tears exposed the reality of anger.

Here is the tension for the Christian. God loves those who suffer and those who cause the suffering.

God loves the captain and his men. And he loves those who made the decision. And he loves all those whose last vision was destruction. God loves the newly graduated girl and her cousin and the friends who survived. And he loves the man who caused so much misery. God loves the new officer and the officers with him. He loves the girlfriend. He loved the man who laid lifeless on the ground.

God loves. The question hangs like an importunate gnat; how can a good God love in the midst of such suffering and pain and yet allow that suffering and pain?

Theologians have spent hundreds, thousands of years and spilling countless ink trying to reason this out. This simple essay cannot answer that question. Arguably, the question will never be answered to anyone’s peace or satisfaction. Rather, these words explore the hurt that carries generations and where to find that way to peace. The trauma endured by the living runs deep.

The captain left the paradise beach with the knowledge that so many people died so that he could go home. The drunk man lived his life tormented with the horror he caused, the needless deaths never leaving his thoughts even after his prison sentence was paid. The officer will never forget the boyfriend’s name or his last living act. Each, in his own way, wrestles with God through the suffering and pain. And walk into an understanding of his love in the heart of it all.

Yet, the incongruous reality is that a good God does love in the midst of suffering and pain.

This good God stepped out of eternity into time and clothed himself in flesh and bones. His heart broken over the suffering and pain endured for generations that had been and generations currently carrying that weight and generations yet to come. His heart is fueled by the same blood that flows through the veins of all those who suffer. The God-Man, Jesus, healed and taught with the presence of Adonai and a spirit of hope. Walking in the love of God and shedding Adonai’s tears, he endured suffering and pain for the joy of redemption and the hope of healing.

Life has this one reality no one can break from. There is death. Why is there suffering and pain? Because there is death and destruction and decisions based in war, selfishness, and anger. Why would a good God love in the midst of suffering and pain? Because of the people.

Adonai loves people.

He declared his creation good. But his greatest creation, his masterpiece, was people whom he called his children. When a child’s heart is broken, when tears fall unbidden the Father’s heart is moved even more.

He came, born into space and time. He lived walking the roads with hurting, broken people. He cried over a city filled with people who loved him, who hated him, who knew nothing about him. His heart broke and tears fell unbidden. He knew the pain each carried and the suffering they endured.

Jesus chose to walk the path of suffering and pain to offer hope and life and peace. He was nailed to a cross and tore the veil. He shook the earth and took breath in a grave.  He made breakfast and showed scars. All for those whose scars run deep in the midst of suffering and pain.

We walk this narrow path with death, destruction, and the weight of our decisions.

Adonai’s tears fall in the midst of it all.

He is good. He is just. He is holy.

Yes, a good God loves you and me most especially in the midst of suffering and pain. He bears our wounds and brings healing, hope, and peace.